My struggles with healthy living, weight loss and body image. Part 2.
So I began dieting over a year ago now, when my then girlfriend began semi-following a weight watchers plan. I was 24 stone and it just made sense to try and make myself a healthier person. At this point I wasn't particularly concerned with how I looked and just wanted to improve my health. I began half counting points and cutting out foods like bread and white pasta and potato, replacing them with good healthy alternatives - whole wheat pasta, rivitas, brown rice and sweet potato became and continue to make up a large part of my meals.
I stopped drinking beer and cider, opting for shorts with diet mixers when going out with friends, something which I still maintain. I'm definitely more of a spirit fan anyway.
Unfortunately, my girlfriend and I stumbled upon rocky ground and split up, and I made the conscious decision to keep going with the healthy eating. The pounds began to drop off. I was eating porridge in the mornings, weighing out a strict amount of pasta and tuna with veg for in the day, and mainly eating salad for my evening meal, with chicken more often than not. I was still enjoying life and treating myself very occasionally, but still steadily shedding the weight.
I began back at work after the summer holidays in 2014 and received a spontaneous round of applause from the whole staff for my efforts - by this point is lost about 10 stone in a year. Over the six week gap I had dropped weight more quickly than previously, and this obviously showed when I was back at work. The compliments kept coming and I kept losing weight.
Towards Christmas, my duties at school saw me supervising the children on the playground during lunch times. Whilst the weather did cool down, I found I was uncomfortably cold all of the time, more so than other people on duty. I decided to book a doctors appointment to make sure I wasn't anaemic or lacking something else that was bad for my circulation.
I know now my doctor was only trying to help, but what happened next kind of began my decline into OCD and calory counting, eventually spiralling into depression. Whether rooted in my recent relationship upheaval or just a deep seeded general subconscious unhappiness with how I looked I'm not sure I'll ever know for definite, but I became immensely unhappy at myself, and my head was often full with negative thoughts and feelings. Unfortunately, things began to get worse.